This testimony was provided by Mr. Raymond Muckock.
January 15, 2016
A long time…. because I was so proud, but I have learned how to get on my knees. I’ve done a lot of time and I’ve met the most crazy people that life had to throw at me and I was one of them. I didn’t believe it until one day I realized who I was. The funny thing that happened was I was at the end of it. I didn’t want to live any more. And I just couldn’t do it. I was so tired of life.
It’s always a strange way of thinking. I wanted to kill myself. So one day, I had a friend who was a preacher—I would always test him, try him—that was the guy who told me who his God was.
I was brought up on Ceremony and educationally I was into the psychology part. Something was holding me and I couldn’t figure it out and this crazy guy who I was with kept talking to Jesus. Who is this Jesus guy? So anyway, we talked about it and I thought, “I think I will give it a shot.”
So it’s been ten years that I have been serving the LORD. He has spent an incredible journey with me; it wasn’t easy. For four months I had to dig the Word, break it apart and truly seek who this Guy was and what God was talking about. So I did that. With all my effort, I did that.
It was incredible when I finally accepted the LORD. For four months I fought Him. I thought why would anyone do this, I felt so horrible. I felt so condemned by what this thing was saying, but I had to honor my word. I had said for four months I would do this. And I did it. So on my last day I said, “Well, Lord. I did my part.”
So on my last week of Metro Hope (Drug and alcohol program) there was one thing I asked; that He’d take my craving away from me. So from that day it was incredible how He stepped in and took my addiction away from me. It proved to me that this thing really worked.
So I went in. I went to school and finished. I went to college two years. That was the most insane thing I’ve ever done. How can anyone live like that? So after that I got into a position that nobody would want, so I worked with the homeless people and I did that for two years. It was incredible when the LORD was taking you there. It was where I had come out of. I didn’t want to deal with drugs. They were horrible. The homeless people didn’t want to do anything.
Time-wise I did that for two years; it was a rewarding experience.
So now I deal with the religious people. I went into the Metro Hope Center. These are the people that are willing to change, to sober up.
These guys were all the same. I wondered, “What are you trying to tell me?” I did three years with them at the Metro Hope Center and graduated and moved up the ranks. Then one day I thought; I can’t be this religious. I was tired.
Then about a year and a half ago I got saved. I didn’t know what it was, but something behind me was talking and I was never trained in the spiritual part of who we are for Christ. I was never taught that. It just ended in college.
For about a year and a half I was working with a Native minister and I was so exhausted. I was tired of the performance. The religious part of it, I was just tired. I can’t do this anymore. It was all works. So I told him that there was no hope for me and the LORD to have a relationship like that. So I get a message from a friend that says, “You better call me.” I sat down and thanked the LORD; I thought everything was settling down, I’m going home. I’m going back home.
I get this call and it’s an adventure! I listened to what this thing was about. Warrior’s Circle. It is a Native organization—and the people running it. That night I asked permission from the LORD. I asked for blessing. I did my homework. I wanted the minister to know I was asked on an adventure. Right away he said, “You should go!” I got the confirmation. I had to do my homework. Do you guys know what I’m talking about?
So I did it and the LORD opened the door.
It was funny to walk in, and expecting Natives, I met my instructor—a half-breed (laughter). It was all brothers in the middle of nowhere and we were one of the first ones there. That’s how dedicated I am (laughter.)
We were standing there and this guy comes up and starts talking to me. So I’m standing there with my Native brothers in shorts so finally we all get together and it was like doing time again, joking with tribes from all over. We had the four corners covered.
It was just incredible, and within two months we knew each other like the back of our hands. And the thing I learned about that was we had to go in together. Back each other up.
And we talked about the most painful things as men to talk about. Because, we were kids again and we talked and the Spirit of God came in and brought us up. It was like living in the book of Acts. It was incredible. And for me it was this: I never thought of going back the same again.
When I was a little kid, I was cute. I was that kid that wandered off.
I got caught by some women and I was held in a house, locked up. And I got beat up in there by a bunch of women. And I could see my house. That’s all I saw and I stood there wondering, “Why me?” They would take me out and beat me up outside. They wanted to kill me right there. I was just a little kid.
So finally I saw a door open and I ran home and they chased me that way. So that was what started for me and it was hard for me to have a relationship because of that. Hatred filled through me.
At 13 they found me grown up. I was still cute. I left home again. I’d wandered off. I met up with this cop class. They had everything I wanted: cars, guns, the law. It’s funny how a cop’s life is, because I’ve studied and I knew what I could get away with. I would ride with them.
Within that circle I got molested at 13-15. It was the hardest thing I had ever gone through. Why is this happening? People aren’t people. Then this is where the LORD took me, He wanted me to say I had to forgive them. And He said to forgive yourself. “Then I want you to live.”
It was the hardest thing I had ever done, to openly confront the situation. When I had forgiven, it was incredible after that. I felt this rush; freedom that I had never experienced before.
So that was it. My journey began.
A new journey.
Within that class time of Warrior Circle, I traveled a lot and went into reservation after reservation. What was encouraging was seeing the Spirit of God moving right in front of me. People were being delivered from their religious thinking and their practice and their traditions.
The most incredible thing that I ever saw was in Washington State. We were working with this lady, and this lady was a big part of the church, and she was demon possessed and it was the most horrible experience I have ever seen. Even in a church it happens.
So I saw this lady manifest right in front of us. And to me, it was this demon coming out. She got delivered right in front of me. I could literally see the new glow in her eyes and in her face and it was incredible to witness that. I was amazed at the power of God and what we were doing really is; when you really, truly believe.
Where it was introduced to me, of all places, was Pine Ridge. That is the most spiritually and amazing place I have ever worked with and at. Because in my ignorance it was the most powerful encounter for me because I had to see it in order to believe it; it’s just the way I am. To me, to be visited by an evil force (I have a partner that I work with closely.)
These people would come at night to my area to torment me and I would use a scripture to combat this. To me, I thought I was going crazy. So finally I understood what was going on. Personally, I understood what Pine Ridge is about. It is the most powerful, evil place, but it can be done because God is more powerful.
I would wander off. I’m one of those guys. I would go into the community and talk to individuals to work on the inside. I wanted to know what Pine Ridge was about, so I would talk. For me, I saw this strength in people. I knew we could do this if we stick together.
I’ve never seen so many churches in one place. It’s painful to see that—the division. And yes, God is moving in the Native community and He’s moving fast and people are being changed right in front of me and right in front of us.
My journey is incredible. I’m not defeated. I’m a soldier and I’m not afraid to die. I’ve driven off the road twice already. You should have seen the passengers (laughter.) The LORD calls the shots.
The LORD is real, so is the Holy Spirit and the legions right down to the evil forces.
I was asked by the Vice President of AIM to run again across the country. I know how to do this. Easily. I am not starving. I am in shape: physically and spiritually.
I just want to say I love you guys.
It has taken me ten years to be able to say that. It’s easy to say it to the women, “Love you,” but the men are harder, but I’m getting there.
God is real.
God has taken me everywhere.